Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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