Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
then he tried to convert me to islam
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
