why didn't you poke me back
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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