David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
