so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize