it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
