You work out of a Hotel?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
