Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
