She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
