So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
