I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize