i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
