Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
