My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
