It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
