thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
