I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
