The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Your cock deserves a montage
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize