That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
