So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Life is so much better after having sex.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
