it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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