I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
