Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I am mentally ready for anal.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
