Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
