How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
