I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Randomize
