There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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