I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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