At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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