yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
