Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
