he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
