everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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