we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
