fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
