school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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