Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
