Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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