i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
