please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
