one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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