his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
