Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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