ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
