my mouth tastes like poor choices
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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