dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
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