I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Sober January is a disaster.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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