In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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