everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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