what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
