girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
