you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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