Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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