Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
