I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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