jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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