It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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