You're completely useless in the revolution.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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