I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
sex in a hospital.. check
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
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