Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
