I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
