You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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