I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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