How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize