Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
