No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
