I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
