we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
