maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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