just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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