I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
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You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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