She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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