So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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