Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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