I accidentally had phone sex last night
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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