I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
