i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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