I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
