what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
